1880 - Chapter 5

“Miss Elizabeth.” William watched her as she took in their new surroundings. They were heading through a park, the trees bare from the autumn winds and the leaves scattered across the path. The street lamps seemed dimmer here, making William think of the monsters that could be hiding in the shadows.

“Buffy.” She said as she began to grow increasingly tired of his insisting on calling her Elizabeth. The only one who had ever called her that had been her father, and she hated the name for that reason alone.

“Miss Elizabeth, I was thinking that maybe I should introduce you to mother.” He almost choked on the words and tried to gauge her reaction but her face was hidden in shadows.

“I don’t think so… I don’t think she’d understand, William.” Buffy hoped he wouldn’t take it the wrong way, but she couldn’t go and meet his family, it would raise too many questions and would risk upsetting the timeline. It was best if the only people that knew she was here were William and the man who had stolen the amulet.

“We should at least get you some clothes so people will stop staring at you in the street.” He brushed aside her rejection of his idea and carried on.

“I’m not staying that long.” Buffy said idly and then stopped when she realised he wasn’t walking alongside her any more.

Turning around to face him by the exit of the park, she bit her lip as she saw the hurt in his face and she felt terrible inside.

Clearly, her safety wasn’t the only reason he had wanted to accompany her tonight.

She hadn’t realised that he was enjoying her presence in that way but now that she was looking at him, she could see in his eyes that he was growing as attached to her as his vampire self was.

It still didn’t change anything. She had to get back.

“Because of him?” William asked in a quiet voice that was laced with anger and Buffy caught a flash of something in his eyes that seemed coldly familiar.

She remembered the night she’d gone to the Bronze with him to ask him how he’d killed the other Slayers. Outside in the alley, he’d attempted to kiss her and she’d outright rejected his move, rejected him.

There was that same look of hurt and anger in William’s eyes.

“Not just him.” Buffy said, feeling foolish that she was talking about Spike as though he was a completely separate person from the one that was standing in front of her.

“But he has something to do with why you’re in such a hurry to return home? You miss him?”

Buffy just nodded.

“Who is he?” William asked and felt anger boil up inside him as she turned her back on him and began walking away. Following her, he looked at her profile as he asked her again. “Miss Elizabeth, who is this man and why do I remind you of him so painfully that sometimes I feel you can’t look at me, and sometimes when you do I feel you see him, rather than me.”

She didn’t answer, she just kept walking down the road and hoping he would stop asking her questions that she couldn’t answer.

“Miss Elizabeth?” William tried again, the last hold he had on his emotions threatening to break.

She swallowed hard.

“Buffy?” He said and saw her stop dead.

The sound of his voice saying her name made her heart skip a beat and she fought to hold back her tears as he moved around to stand in front of her.

“I won’t go any further with you until you explain to me exactly what is going on here. You told me once that I reminded you of a man you knew, and since then I have heard you say that several times more. I think you could at least tell me his name.”

Buffy knew that she wasn’t going to get away with not answering his questions. He had her trapped. She needed his help and would be stuck here indefinitely if he left her, but she couldn’t risk the fabric of time.

“Spike.” She said the word quietly, part of her hoping that he wouldn’t hear.

“What kind of name is that?” He frowned at her.

“Don’t ask me, you chose it.” She muttered and then tentatively raised her eyes to meet his.

“I chose it?” He looked incredulous.

“This is insane… all of this.” She gave in, deciding that if they were going to work together he was best knowing what was happening and how she knew him. “You’re jealous of yourself for God’s sake. It’s ridiculous!”

“How is that possible? Is that how you knew me? How you knew my name?” He sat on a nearby bench as he tried to digest what she was telling him.

Buffy crouched down in front of him and looked up into his face. “You’re someone I know in my future, and I knew you were here in the past so I came to see if you would help me. I can’t tell you much more than that, so please don’t ask me.”

He considered her words for a moment and then let his head fall back and his eyes roam the starlit skies above them. How was this possible? She was saying that he was in her future as well as here in the past for her. His head ached as he tried to comprehend it. How could he be there when he was here?

A man lived no longer than seventy or eighty years if he was lucky. He would have had to have lived longer than one hundred and fifty years if he was going to make it to the twenty first century, and something told him that if he looked that old then she wouldn’t have so easily recognised him. She certainly wouldn’t see his future self in him.

“How?”

“Let’s just say something happens to you in your future and that’s how come you wind up working with me, looking as handsome as you are now, if not a little more handsome.” She smiled as he blushed, his head dipping shyly as he avoided her gaze. “Are we good? You understand I can’t give you details. I can’t jeopardise the future by telling you what happens. I can’t risk losing you in my time.”

He nodded when he saw how scared she was and touched her hand. “I understand.”

“Can we get moving now? It’s just, we really should find this place and get these books.”

William nodded again and stood slowly. He followed her in silence as she looked at all the buildings around her, searching for the right one. He still couldn’t bring himself to believe what she’d said. He was in her future and he was calling himself Spike?

Deciding it was probably best trying to concentrate on helping her rather than giving himself a headache by pondering how all this was possible, William began to read the sign on each gate they passed.

Buffy stopped as she caught sight of the Houses of Parliament through a gap in two buildings. Walking up the narrow street, she gave herself a few seconds to take in the scene in front of her and then began to search the street.

As two people passed her by, she ducked into the shadows and frowned as she listened to them.

“Terrible thing that happened the other night, shame we couldn’t save him.” One man said as they walked briskly down street.

“Still, it was his own fault for trying to take the beast on by himself. The paper work will last for weeks. Tore him apart as though he was a rag doll. We’ll have to start recruiting again if we’re to succeed.” The other man answered him and she watched as they disappeared into a building.

Beast? Things tearing people apart? Men that were wholly unconcerned by the death of a colleague?

That sounded like the Council to her.

“What’s wrong?” William asked as he found her with her back pressed against a wall.

“I’ve found our building.”

“Good.” He smiled and then noticed she didn’t look so happy. “Anything the matter?”

“We have a problem. It’s still occupied. We’re going to have to wait until they leave.” She hissed at him and saw his brow arch.

“You’re going to enter illegally aren’t you?” He gave her a reprimanding look as she nodded slightly. He couldn’t believe the risks he was taking to help her. He couldn’t believe how everything had become so confused and chaotic in only one day of knowing her.

Or was it one day? She knew him in the future. To her, she’d known him for a long time. How comfortable she was around him was evidence of that. Did that mean he’d known her for a long time too, or had he still only known her a day?

He shook his head as it all became too confusing and reminded himself not to think about it. The more he dwelt on it, the more bewildering things seemed to get and all he wanted to do was help her and spend as much time with her as possible.

Looking down at her as she gazed at the Houses of Parliament over the river, he let his head incline to one side as he absorbed how she looked. She had stepped out of the shadows, her face illuminated by the soft glow of the street lamps and it seemed to make her beauty shine.

She was almost angelic. Her fine brows, soft golden hair and sweet cherry lips all set off by her stunning green eyes, eyes that seemed to be able to look right down into his soul. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he raised his hand up and shakily brushed a strand of hair away from her face.

Buffy gasped quietly as she felt his fingers in her hair and she barely managed to stop herself from jumping. It felt so good, so right, but so wrong at the same time. All she could think about when he did that was Spike. It was Spike’s fingers she wanted to feel clearing the hair from her face, not William’s, and it made her feel horrible inside.

William wondered what she was looking at when she raised her eyes up, but they didn’t meet his. After a few seconds, he realised that she was either staring over his shoulder, or staring at his neck.

She dropped her eyes to his chest and tentatively placed her hand against it, frowning as she felt the steady pounding of his heart against his ribs. She took her hand away as she realised that he was staring at her open mouthed.

“Sorry.” She looked away from him and let her eyes fix on the river again. “It’s just so weird… you’re right, sometimes I see the man I know, rather than the man you are. I don’t mean to, I just can’t help it.”

“Am I much different when you know me?” He asked her and she went to nod and then shook her head.

“Not really. I think you pretend to be different. You’re stronger, but you’re still passionate, poetic and extremely protective of me. You hide your sensitivity beneath the surface. It’s the nature of the beast I suppose.” Buffy mused as she watched the lights dancing on the water.

William frowned as he read into what she’d said.

Nature of the beast.

She’d looked at his neck and had followed it by pressing one of her sweet delicate hands to his chest, making it tremble and his heart beat harder for her.

Now she was saying that he hid himself, that it was the nature of the beast.

God, what kind of man, what kind of thing had he become?

He felt sick to his stomach as it all came together in his head and he pressed his hand to his abdomen.

“God, no.” He breathed in horror.

Buffy turned to see him as pale as death and she wrapped her arms around him, holding him up as he threatened to fall. Helping him back to the bench, she sat him down and seated herself beside him.

“William, what’s wrong?” She watched him as he breathed heavily, his hands shaking as he tried to neaten himself out. Dipping her head, she let the backs of her fingers brush against his cheek as she looked into his eyes. “William?”

He fought for composure so he could answer her, but he felt as though he’d be sick if he opened his mouth. After a few more seconds of gulping at air, he let his eyes meet hers and search them deeply.

“What am I?” He whispered as he focused on the feeling of her hand against his cheek.

“I don’t understand.”

“Spike… me… I’m an immortal aren’t I? I’m a beast like the one you slaughtered earlier.” His stomach turned as he spoke the words and she didn’t immediately discount what he’d said.

Buffy kept silent.

“Tell me I’m not. Tell me I’m anything but one of them.”

“I can’t, William.” She felt terrible as she drew her eyes away from his and sighed. “I can’t lie to you.”

William breathed deeply as he tried to calm himself. He was going to become a vampire. He was going to become one of the things she killed. How come she hadn’t killed his future self then?

“I’ll be a vampire… if that’s true then I must become one within the next few years in order for you to recognise me so easily.”

Buffy felt like saying ‘try the next few months’ but bit her tongue and just smiled shakily at him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to know. You can’t change history, William, please?”

He looked stunned as she pleaded with him. She was asking him to go through with it anyway, even when he knew what fate had in store for him and he could change it. Was she insane? But then, if he didn’t become a vampire he would never see her again.

He nodded.

He wouldn’t alter what happened to him. He’d go through with it purely because of her. The way she spoke about Spike, the look of affection she got in her eyes whenever she thought about him, it was all about him in reality. If he didn’t become a vampire, he’d never meet her and none of this would happen. Lord knows what other impact it would have on her life too. She’d mentioned him being protective of her. For all he knew, he might have saved her life a dozen times, might have been there at the right moment to protect her from harm. Without him, she could die.

No, he’d go through with it because he loved her.

He loved her now, and if what she was saying was anything to go by, he loved her in the future too.

There was no way he could let her go now.

It was only a matter of time before she left London and returned to where she’d come from, and he’d be alone again. He’d wait for his destiny, welcome it with open arms knowing what his future held for him.

Her.

A century of waiting would be worth it to be by her side again.

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