Driving to Distraction - Chapter 9

“He was… is…” She couldn’t get the words to come. Spike had lost his melancholy edge and now there was nothing but anger staring back at her.

“Tell me… you know… tell me, Buffy…” Barely restraining himself, he waited for her to speak, knowing that if he pushed her then he was going to push her away.

Buffy’s heart was hammering hard against her chest. If she told him who Drusilla had cheated on him with, would it be the end to whatever was happening between them, would he dump her here in Las Vegas?

“Buffy, love, not going to shout… I just need to know…” Spike let his fingers play on her cheek as he tried to show her that he wasn’t going to take it out on her and hoped she would continue.

“My father.” She shrank away from him slightly as she finally pushed the words out into the open. Her arms moved to defend herself.

“Your… your father?” He looked at her with disbelief then noticed her body language—she was scared of him.

“I’m so sorry…” Buffy whispered it to her knees and hoped he would hear her.

He watched her as she hugged her knees to her chest and kept her eyes fixed on her feet.

“It isn’t your fault, love. Your dad is a real piece of work though… no wonder you’re leaving him.”

He waited again for her to speak but she didn’t. She curled up slightly and as her body shook into a sob, he felt his stomach twist upon itself.

“Why are you crying, love… please don’t…” Spike tried to smooth her hair out but she curled up even further.

“He hurt you so much, they all hurt you so much…” She couldn’t stop herself now. She was dwelling on everything he’d told her and it hurt to know that all those bad things could happen to one person, had happened to him. “You didn’t deserve it… it was so wrong… you’re so…”

“Don’t cry… I’m not worth it. Honestly… I’m not worth tears.”

As she raised her eyes to meet his, she saw that his were full of tears too. Uncurling, she moved closer to him and held his hands again.

He watched her fingers intertwine with his and then met her eyes, letting his thumb gently stroke her hand.

Buffy sighed at him as tears fell down onto her cheeks. He was beautiful, his face bathed in pale blue light, eyes full of emotion and expression boyish. He looked so different from the Spike she’d first met—arrogant Spike had been housing boyish William all along, a pained and hurt man.

Leaning forwards, Buffy rested her forehead against his and she could feel his breath on her lips—it was warm and soft.

“Spike… I’m sorry… I’m sorry for everything anyone ever did to you… I wish I could make it all better.” She stroked his cheek with her hand.

“Wish you could too, love… made it better in a way… let me talk about it… never let anyone get close enough to talk like this before…” He whispered softly and she could feel every word on her lips.

Forehead still resting against his, she ran her hand around the back of his head as she sniffled. His words swam in her head and some part of her wanted to be closer to him still. Moving slightly, she leaned forwards and captured his lips with hers, brushing softly against them and waiting to see if he would respond.

Spike froze for a moment. She was kissing him now. This beautiful girl not only cried for him but now she wanted more. Closing his eyes, he kissed her back, letting his mouth move gently against hers. She tasted amazing, partly bourbon and party something sweet. Wanting more, he deepened the kiss, his hand running through her hair until he was holding her mouth against his.

Buffy felt like her heart was going to explode. He was so tender and sweet. Running her tongue over his bottom lip, she felt her lips tingle as he began to kiss her harder in response.

Ten seconds later, Spike pulled away from her and searched her eyes, suddenly unsure of the reason she was doing this.

“Spike?” Buffy breathed softly at him, wanting his mouth back on hers.

“Why?” He got a look from Buffy that said ‘huh?’. “Why are you kissing me?”

“Because I want to, Spike, because I wanted to from the first day I met you.” Buffy pulled him back to her and smiled over the fact he didn’t bother to put up a fight. “Don’t question it, please…”

He was dumbstruck. She’d wanted to kiss him from the first day she’d met him? It seemed to him like they had both been fighting the attraction for the past few days. He was about to grin over her walking in on him in the shower, when she pulled his mouth back to hers and all thoughts left him.

Kissing her softly, he let his past and the world around them fade into the background as he lost himself in her.


Buffy stumbled slightly as she bumped into the door. She didn’t relinquish the grip she had on his jacket as she fumbled one-handed in her bag, searching for her key-card.

Spike pulled in a deep breath as he broke the kiss, his eyes quickly registering that they were outside her hotel room. He wondered just what she was planning and then found himself thinking over whether he should let things between them go any further than kissing.

Turning her attention to the door, Buffy pushed the card into the slot and then pressed down on the handle so it opened.

Catching hold of Spike again and trying to pull him down for a kiss, she frowned as he resisted and just looked at her.

“You should get some rest, it’s been a long day.” He spoke the words with as much feeling as he could muster. All he wanted to do was submit to her like he could see she wanted him to but on some level it felt wrong to do so.

“No…come in…please?” Buffy tilted her head back, letting her lips pout out slightly as she gave him doe eyes in an attempt to get him to give in.

As her body brushed up against his, Spike lost the ability to reason with himself and shoved her hard against the doorframe with his body. Pressing a passionate kiss to her lips, he grasped hold of her thighs and lifted her up, holding her against him as he ground into her.

Buffy felt her heart skip a beat as it thumped hard against her chest and she nipped his lower lip as she kissed him fervently. She grasped hold of his collar as she smashed her mouth against his, her tongue duelling with his as they both fought for dominance. Wrapping her legs about him, she smiled against his mouth as he began to move into the room with her and she heard him kick the door shut.

She moaned out her appreciation as one of his hands roamed under her top and his thumb brushed against her bra-clad breasts.

Spike rolled his eyes shut as he frantically kissed her, almost desperate for contact with her and badly needing to feel her soft skin against his.

Falling onto the bed with her, he didn’t waste any time in disposing of her clothes and smiled as he found her urgently tugging at his t-shirt. Stripping off, he kept his eyes on her as she did the same, revealing inch after inch of smooth golden skin to his gaze.

He growled low in his throat as she hopped onto the bed and giggled up at him. Crawling toward her, he pressed a trail of kisses up her inner thigh and then over her stomach.

Buffy arched her back against him as he captured one of her nipples with his mouth, running gentle, teasing circles around it with his tongue. She let her fingers bury themselves in his hair, holding his mouth against her as he continued to lick and suckle her breasts.

Spike smiled broadly as he moved his attention to her other breast and teased her nipple into a hard peak with his tongue. Letting the fingers of his left hand trail lightly down her stomach, he listened to her moan quietly as they tickled her and then watched her bite her lip as he ran them over her pussy.

Buffy furrowed her brows as she felt his fingers slide over her pussy and tease her clit. She swallowed noisily as he let his fingers drift down to her opening and then trailed her juices back up to her arousal, rubbing it lightly.

“Spike…” She chewed her lip again and bucked slightly, desperate for more contact between them than what he was giving her.

Spike kissed a trail up to her neck and bit it gently as he slid one of his fingers up into her heated core.

Buffy’s eyes flew wide open and her mouth formed an ‘o’ as she stared at the ceiling above her. She breathed shallowly as she focused on the feeling of his finger slowly sliding in and out of her.

As she tightened her muscles around him, Spike groaned against her neck and rubbed his erection against her thigh. She was so tight, so hot inside her, and all he wanted to do was bury himself in there.

Pumping her slowly with his finger, he gradually slipped another into her and watched her face closely as she moaned. She was beautiful, groaning and writhing around his fingers as he fucked her with them.

Buffy wrapped her hand around his cock and held it tightly as he moaned and thrust his hips forward. Stroking it gently, she teased the head of it with her thumb and smiled internally as he breathed heavily against her neck while kissing it.

Feeling powerful and encouraged, she let her hand move downward until she was rolling his balls in her hand and then let her fingers stroke him lightly as she moved it back up again. She smiled as his fingers moved quicker inside her and wrapped her hand around his length, stroking him at the same pace he was pumping her.

Spike screwed his eyes shut and kissed up her neck and then along her jaw until he found her mouth again. Kissing her hard, he let his tongue move against hers and smiled internally as her hands held him flush against her.

Buffy raked her fingernails up his back, kissing him frantically and trying to get as near to him as she possibly could. As his fingers left her, she realised she was going to get her wish.

Spike moved to lay on top of her, kissing her all the while as his thumb lightly caressed one of her nipples. As she moved her hips up towards his and moaned quietly, he took the hint. Holding his cock in his hand, he guided the tip of it to her entrance and looked down into her wide eyes.

“I don’t have any…” He started.

She quickly pressed her cheek to his and whispered into his ear. “It’s fine…I’m protected.”

Letting her hands run down his back, she cupped his backside and encouraged him to go on.

Spike didn’t need any encouragement. He pressed a light kiss to her cheek as he nudged the head of his cock inside her.

As he hit resistance, he stopped and pulled away from her, not bothering to hide how stunned he was.

She was definitely more innocent than he’d thought.

She couldn’t get much more innocent than this.

“Buffy…” He began but didn’t know what to say to her. This felt wrong on so many levels but so right at the same time. He wasn’t worthy of what she was willing to give him and part of him didn’t want her to lose her virginity to a potential one-night stand. “I can’t…we shouldn’t…it should be special.”

Buffy just swallowed and looked straight into his eyes, her face a mask of honesty. “And it is, isn’t it?”

He felt floored by her words and just nodded. As she smiled up at him, he couldn’t help thinking how beautiful she looked, how happy she looked.

How happy was she going to be tomorrow when he dropped her off in Sunnydale?

“But what happens tomorrow?” He had to raise the question, had to let her know what she was getting herself into.

Buffy just stroked his cheek lightly and smiled. “Then we’ll still have tonight.”

Unable to deny her beautiful words, Spike dipped his head and kissed her, letting his lips brush lightly against hers. He smiled against her mouth as he felt her hands squeeze his buttocks, encouraging him onward.

Easing into her, he let her grow accustomed to the new sensation and then pulled out slightly before sliding back in again.

Buffy frowned as the pain began to subside, gradually replaced with a sensation of pleasure that she couldn’t describe. She let her fingers run up his back until she was grasping his shoulders tightly and kissing him furiously. She wanted more, wanted it, wanted him.

Spike moaned into her mouth as he thrust into her, his rhythm slow and steady even though she was doing her best to make him go faster. He wanted this to be special, just like she’d said it was, and that meant they were going to go slow.

Besides, they had all night for going fast.

He curled his hips slightly as she tensed her muscles around him, his lips raining kisses down on her mouth and throat as she wrapped her legs around his hips. Drawing away from her, he continued to pump her gently with his cock as he looked down at her face. Her eyes were screwed shut and her lips were parted in a delightful ‘o’.

Buffy fluttered her eyes open as she realised he’d stopped kissing her and found blue eyes instantly meeting her green ones. She smiled up at him as he looked down at her, and felt her heart expanding in her chest.

She felt so connected to him.

So close that she could just reach out a little and she would be able to touch his soul.

Feeling her abdomen tightening and begging for release, she clamped her muscles down around his cock and raised her hips slightly.

Spike held her gaze as he thrust deeper inside her, his pace quickening as he felt her nearing her climax. Keeping his eyes locked with hers, he smiled down at her as she moaned beneath him but refused to close her eyes.

Buffy furrowed her brows as her hips bucked up and Spike’s cock thrust hard into her, making the tightness in her stomach evaporate into a wave of pleasure that coursed through her entire body. She felt her muscles convulsing around him and watched as Spike’s face screwed up as he came, his cock pulsing and throbbing as he spilled his seed inside her.

Breathing heavily, he held her gaze for a moment longer and then collapsed on top of her. He pressed little kisses to her neck as she did the same to his and then smiled as he felt her arms wrap around him, cradling him to her as they both came down together.

Closing her eyes, Buffy sighed out her breath in a smile as she let her cheek rest against his.

He’d said her first time should have been special.

It couldn’t have been more special.

Because it had been special for both of them.

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