Love In Vein: Book Two - Chapter 38

Buffy crept through the darkened house, weaving her way through the bodies of her friends as they slept rough in her living room. She’d given Angel the basement to sleep in, figuring that now Spike shared her room he wouldn’t be needing it anymore and it was the safest place in the house for a vampire. Glancing at the people around her as they soundly slept on, Buffy envied them a little.

She’d gone to her room when her mother and Giles had decided that it was no use trying to get anymore research done when everyone was so tired. She’d lain down on her bed, thinking of Spike and wondering where he was. Using her senses she’d reached out to him a few times, monitoring how he was feeling and pleased that wherever he was he had begun to feel a lot calmer.

But she hadn’t slept.

Couldn’t sleep without him.

Her room reminded her of him, of the comfort he gave to her, of the feel of his arms around her as she slept. No matter what she tried, she couldn’t sleep.

So, she’d come downstairs as the sun began to set and was now making her way toward the kitchen.

“Buffy?” Willow’s sleepy voice called out to her softly and she turned quietly, desperate not to make a sound and wake the others. “What’s wrong?”

“Can’t sleep.” Buffy replied and intimated for Willow to join her in the kitchen.

She closed the door as Willow followed her into the small room and then heaved a long sigh.

“You miss him don’t you?” Willow observed and was reminded for a moment of how she’d felt when Oz had left, but she’d soon forgotten it when she discovered her feelings for Tara.

“It’s pointless trying to get to sleep without him, Will. Sometimes I think he’s the only person or thing in the world that can give me a peaceful rest, without him I just feel tense.” Buffy took down two mugs from the cupboard as she put the kettle on.

“I know what you mean…when Tara…” Willow said without thinking and then bit her lip as Buffy looked at her.

“So, Spike was right then? Guess he’ll be demanding that kiss now.” Buffy smiled reassuringly, trying to show her friend that she was okay with her new relationship.

“You’re not freaked?”

“No…I mean…dating another girl has to be pretty normal when you compare it to being bonded to a vampire, right?” Buffy giggled as she put two tea bags into the cups and poured the water in.

Willow hadn’t thought of it like that.

“I suppose you’ve got a point.” She took the cup that Buffy offered her and breathed in the warm fragrance filled steam. It hit her what Buffy had said. “You had a bet?”

“Yeah, it was Spike mostly. He noticed how close you two were the night we first met Tara and kept bringing it up every time we saw you two together after that.” Buffy sipped her drink and raised her brows into a musing look. “And now I owe him a kiss.”

“Just a kiss?” Willow didn’t look convinced.

“Exactly what I said.” Buffy giggled again as she remembered their conversation. “He’s sweetly unpredictable like that sometimes.”

“It’ll be getting dark soon, are you going out to look for him?”

“I have to, I can’t spend another night without him. He’s feeling calmer now, a little disorientated which leads me to suspect he’s been drinking…but he’s calmer.” Buffy placed her mug down beside her as she sat at the kitchen island.

“Hey.” Angel greeted the two girls as he appeared from the basement and Buffy looked at the window, seeing how the sun had just disappeared below the horizon.

Regular as clockwork.

Sun goes down, vampires get up.

“Hey.” Buffy and Willow responded in unison.

“We about ready to go out?” Buffy looked at them both as they gave her confused looks. “Will, I want you to take Tara and search the town for Spike. You know that he won’t hurt you, out of all the gang he likes you two the most. If you find him, just talk to him, tell him I need him and that if he focuses on me for a second he’ll be able to see that.”

Willow nodded, unable to refuse such a heartfelt request by her friend.

“And me?” Angel caught Buffy’s attention.

“You…you’re coming with me.” She said in a serious tone that belied how nervous she was about bringing Angel with her. It was a dangerous choice on her part, but he would be able to track her mate almost as easily as she could. Besides, he’d make great Spike bait.

A knock at the door had her moving again through the house, Angel and Willow following a short distance behind her. When she entered the hall, she found her mother had got there first and was chatting to Xander with a wide smile as he brought Anya in with him.

“Buff.” He greeted her and she hesitated for a moment before briefly hugging him.

Spike had been right; she didn’t feel so sick when she was the one to instigate the contact.

“Hey.” She breathed with a smile and then turned it on Anya. “Hey.”

Anya just smiled and looked around the house with raised brows, as if she were trying to search out things she could comment on.

“Make yourself at home.” Buffy looked at Xander and then at her mother. “Stop Giles from killing Wesley while we’re out.”

“Wesley’s here? Stuffy old Wesley?” Xander looked incredulous as Buffy nodded.

“It’s a long story, I’ll fill you in later when we’ve found Spike. Don’t suppose you saw him on the walk over?” Buffy looked hopeful even though she knew it was a long shot.

“Spike’s missing?” Xander looked even more confused.

“Another long story.” Buffy patted his shoulder reassuringly.

Looking back at Angel and Willow, she took a deep breath and geared herself up for playing the role of General again. It didn’t seem as fun without her second in command to back her up. It definitely didn’t feel as fun when she was having to hunt down her second in command and convince him to come home.

“We ready?” She asked and Willow intimated for Tara to join her.

“Ready.” Angel answered.

“Then let’s go bring him home.” Buffy walked straight out the door without looking back. She knew Angel would only be a step behind her and that Willow and Tara would leave shortly after they had. She hoped for her own sake that Spike wouldn’t hurt them if they found her first, she knew that he liked them, respected them above all others in her circle of friends, but she couldn’t predict clearly what his feelings would make him do.


Buffy sighed as she looked down at her watch, struggling to make out the time in the darkness of the cemetery. It was almost two in the morning, she was tired, her feet were sore and a chill was beginning to settle on her bones.

Walking slowly along with Angel at her side, she’d not said anything since just after midnight and she didn’t have to be psychic to know that Angel wasn’t happy about it. She gave him a tiny smile as she looked up at him, noting the differences in him when compared with Spike. He was taller, but Spike seemed to give himself stature by sheer enthusiasm alone. Patrolling with Angel felt like patrolling with her father, or worse, Giles. Patrolling with Spike, she felt as though she was patrolling with someone more her own age--he had a boundless energy that made him so much more fun to be with, and he never lectured her like Angel.

Other than that, it was down to brooding brown eyes against soulful blues.

Buffy decided that blue was her new favourite colour.

Especially when it twinkled at her like his eyes.

Putting her hands into her pockets in an effort to warm them, she tried to get a lock on Spike’s feelings and found them a little clearer now, like wherever he was he was a damn sight nearer to her.

“Angel…” Buffy started but bit her tongue.

“Hmm?” Angel was roused from his own heavy thoughts by the sound of her voice and looked over at her where she walked beside him.

“It’s nothing.” She looked around the cemetery, her voice quiet as she tried to resist asking him what was on the tip of her tongue. “Just, what’s so different about the claim being this way round?”

Angel stopped dead. Now that she’d said it, he realised what had been plaguing him since his arrival.

She no longer registered as the primary claimant.

Spike did.

“He countered your claim?” Angel asked as he stood staring at her, she was toying idly with the small bracelet around her wrist in an almost awkward way.

Buffy nodded, keeping her eyes downcast.

“Didn’t see that coming. William was always one to let the girl hold the reins.” Angel mused and found Buffy’s eyes meeting his, a frown etched on her features.

“He didn’t want to be hurt. He needed it this way around for a reason though, it wasn’t about being in control--he said it was about protecting me.” She started walking again and noticed the pensive expression that had clouded Angel’s face.

“Then I don’t know. I never paid much attention to claims.” He said quietly as they rounded a tomb near the trees.

Buffy smiled.

“What’s that for?” Angel smiled slightly too but it disappeared when she spoke.

“I can feel Spike. It’s an incredible feeling being able to know someone’s affections for you, rather than relying on and believing what they tell you. It’s freeing. I don’t have to tell Spike that I love him, he really knows, and he doesn’t need to tell me that he loves me because I can feel that he does. How is it possible for him to love me so deeply when he has no soul? I’ve never felt anything like this.” Buffy stared into the distance as she continued to smile, her stomach warming through with happiness as she thought about Spike.

Angel decided it was best not to answer her question, if he ignored what she’d said then there was a chance it would go away--as if it had all been a horrible hallucination.

Buffy noticed the hurt look on his face and felt bad for a moment before looking at the bigger picture. She knew it hurt him to hear what she said but she needed him to know how strong the relationship between her and Spike was, and that her feelings for the vampire weren’t going to go away.

She giggled to herself as she sensed Spike.

Angel looked over at her.

“If we’re not careful then we’ll be having company.” She glanced over at the woods and ignored how Angel looked a little shocked.

“You didn’t bring me along to help, you brought me as bait to lure Spike out.” He accused her and felt a stab of anger in his stomach when she didn’t deny his words.


Spike narrowed his eyes as he watched his mate and his grandsire walking along together, taking a stroll through the cemetery. He quickly discounted that thought, he knew what she was up to and if she had any choice she would have come alone--Angel was nothing to her, but seeing them together would bring himself out of hiding.

He’d thought long and hard about the revelation of his future soul, and although it still made his demon revolt against everything Buffy’s world held in store for him, he was willing to return to his mate--he couldn’t leave her alone, needed to be by her side again.

He smiled as he found Buffy was happy and full of sweet affection, and something told him that she was talking to Angel about him. As she turned to look over at the spot he was hiding in, he reached out a little more, letting her know he was there in the shadows like she thought he was.

Watching them disappear around the corner of a tomb, he straightened up and realised that maybe it was time to head home and face facts--you couldn’t alter your destiny, it was mapped out before you were born and all you could do was roll with the punches.

Besides, he was young--it could be a few centuries before the intended soul was pressed upon him.

“There you are.” A familiar voice stole into his thoughts and he frowned as he found Buffy next to him.

“There you aren’t.” He narrowed his eyes suspiciously as he countered what she’d said.

“That’s no way to say hello to your lover.” She pouted at him and Spike sniffed.

“You don’t smell like Buffy, in fact, you don’t smell anything…except a little bitty bad.” He smirked at the First. “What’s it you’re after with me?”

“I just thought that after what happened back at the house, you might be open to a proposition…there could be consequences if you’re not.”

“Proposition? Consequences? What’re you gonna do, possess me and make me kill Angel so Buffy kills me? Would be a great way to kill us vampires off, only you can’t possess me can you…you would’ve done it back at the Magic Box if you could.” Spike sucked his cheeks into a cocky grin as the First looked a little put out.

The smile dropped off Spike’s face as the First morphed into Drusilla and purred sweetly at him while licking her fingers. “There are other ways to skin the kitty cats, Spike.”

“Buffy won’t fall for that, pet…” He trailed off as the First changed into a reflection of himself. “…Or that.”

“Maybe we could do a deal.” It smiled wickedly.

“What? Evil’s gonna scratch my back now? Think I’ll pass.” Spike went to walk away but he found the First standing in his path.

“I’ll get rid of an itch you can’t scratch, if you work for me.” It offered and Spike looked as though he was thinking about it for a moment. “I’ll get rid of the great poofter, see to it he’s nothing more than a big pile of dust by the time the sun rises.”

Spike bit his lower lip thoughtfully and then shrugged.

“Tempting offer, but I can’t do that to the little woman, would’ve already done it by now if I could.” Spike gave it an apologetic look. “Now, I really have got to be somewhere. Glad we got to have this little chat though…it’s been nice.”

The First watched him as he walked out of the cover of the woods and headed across the cemetery.

Things weren’t going to plan. The one it had thought was weakest, and easiest to turn, was proving to be the most problematic. Not only that but it was helping the Slayer, guiding her to the seal that it was searching for and that was one surprise it didn’t want ruined.

It was clear that the Slayer had far too much time on her hands.

Maybe it was time she was given a little more to distract her and keep her busy.

What was that phrase she’d said she’d use?

Taken the Initiative.

The First smiled as it appeared in Buffy’s form near the cemetery gates and watched the Slayer and Angel heading home.

If she wanted the Initiative dealt with, it was all too happy to lend a hand.

Of course, it needed to borrow a pair first.

Then it would see about taking the Initiative.


Buffy yawned sleepily as she trudged down the stairs only to pause at the bottom when she heard voices in the kitchen. She rubbed her hair and frowned, trying to discern who was speaking. Edging nearer to the almost shut door, she smiled as she heard Spike and her mother.

Spike toyed with the rim of his mug, keeping his eyes downcast as he sat opposite Joyce. She had immediately offered him a drink when he’d walked in through the back door just a few hours after following Buffy around town, and he’d been thankful to her for the chance to say what was on his mind. He knew she’d lend a sympathetic ear, and if he talked it all out to her then maybe he’d be able to find peace amongst his chaotic thoughts.

Sipping the hot chocolate, he smiled as he thought about just how understanding Joyce had been about the situation between her daughter and himself, she seemed to see it as acceptable--so long as her daughter was happy, then she was happy.

He looked over at Joyce and was reminded of the last time they’d done this, just had a heart to heart over a mug of chocolate.

“You’re a good listener, must be where Buffy gets it from.” He mused as he watched her drinking.

“Buffy?” Joyce was surprised to hear her daughter was a good listener; the girl she knew seemed to be too busy rushing around to listen to anyone.

“You two are the only ones who do, at least to me anyway.” Spike shrugged.

“Maybe you should go talk to her then, I’m sure she isn’t sleeping.”

“She isn’t.” Spike confirmed Joyce’s words and then continued. “I just need a little time to think, it’s quiet here…feels like I can gain a little clarity.”

“Is this about the prophecy?” Joyce decided not to reject the company he was offering to her by seeking peace in her kitchen and took the opportunity to be the good listener he’d pinned her as.

“About the soul part more than anything. Did they get any further with the research?”

“When you were gone? No. Buffy was too interested in trying to find you, I think she missed you more than she was letting on.”

“Good to hear, that. Chicken soup for the future soul.” Spike took another mouthful of his hot chocolate and sighed. He’d missed her too, had spent the whole time down Willy’s thinking about her and wondering if she was sleeping. He’d known by her feelings that she hadn’t, just like he knew she wasn’t now.

“Buffy said that you seemed to think the soul was going to be placed upon you, like they did with Angel.” She watched his face as it darkened.

“Last thing I need.” He muttered to himself.

“What about if it isn’t?”

“It isn’t what?” Spike looked confused.

“Well, being cursed with one can’t be the only way to get a soul, can it? Maybe you aren’t destined for one right this minute, maybe it’s years away from now that the prophecy talks of.”

“It’s a nice theory.” Spike showed her an appreciative smile.

He thought about what she’d said for a moment, trying to remember if he’d ever heard of a way of getting your soul back. He supposed you could ask someone to perform the ritual on you, or something similar. You could try and get one, but why would you want to?

He frowned, his expression turning pensive as he thought about that. All these weeks with Buffy he’d been plagued by thoughts of redemption and absolution. Was this where those thoughts were leading him? To a soul?

“She’s the reason, you know?” He said quietly, still lost in his thoughts.

“Reason?” Joyce looked confused.

“That I’d get one, a soul. She’s the only reason.” He confessed as he kept his eyes fixed on his mug.

“Because you love her?” Joyce smiled as his look turned awkward and she wondered if vampires could blush.

“I’d do it for her, to give her peace of mind, be a better man. I know the fear she feels sometimes, I know I’m not everything she needs me to be, and I’m a fraction of what she deserves. Even with the ring, I’m still a killer. Buffy tries to see past it, but she’s told me she thinks about it sometimes, it plays on her mind. It doesn’t help when her friends can’t see past what I am, I see how upset she gets about their reluctance to accept me, and how hard she tries to convince them to.” Spike heaved a sigh as he met Joyce’s eyes and found her smiling warmly across the kitchen island at him.

“Is that the only reason?” She questioned him with a curious look in her eyes and Spike knew he was being drawn out--she wanted to know his feelings for her daughter.

“I’ll never let anything hurt her, Joyce, not even myself. I love her too damn much, more than anything. I’m hers, she’s mine.”

Joyce smiled knowingly. “She loves you, too?”

Spike paused as a small sigh in the hallway caught his attention. Intimating for Joyce to continue talking, he smiled mischievously as he slipped out the door that led into the living room.

Joyce did as instructed and tried not to feel a little foolish for speaking to herself as Spike went to see who was listening in on their conversation. She smiled as she heard Buffy squeal loudly and the two came bundling into the kitchen.

“Look at what I caught.” Spike smirked as he cleared the hair from her face and held onto her tightly.

Buffy pouted. She’d been so focused on what she’d heard Spike say that she hadn’t sensed him creeping up on her until he’d grabbed hold of her.

Sitting down, he arranged Buffy on his knee and then looked appraisingly at her pyjamas. “Yummy sushi, good enough to eat.”

She giggled slightly and then smiled warmly, feeling happy over having him back home where he belonged.

“I was thirsty, couldn’t sleep.” She said as way of an excuse for listening in on him and her mother.

Joyce smiled at Buffy as she looked over at her. Seeing her back with Spike, and the wide smile he’d put on her face, made everything seem a little less foreboding. The talk of souls, prophecies and the First had been making her sick with nerves, but the sight of her daughter so happy pushed that feeling into the background.

All threes attention flew to the door as it burst open, revealing a haphazardly dressed Angel.

“I heard a scream.” He panted as he hurriedly buttoned the rest of his shirt and realised that somewhere he’d gone wrong because he had two buttons left over.

“It was her, you nit. Little thing was sneaking about, sticking her nose in as always.” Spike smirked at Angel as he bounced Buffy slightly on his knee.

Angel’s face fell. “Oh. Nothing’s wrong then?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Spike confirmed and then pressed a kiss to Buffy’s cheek, his arms wrapping tightly around her as she looked at him. “Everything’s fine now.”

Buffy smiled and kissed him back. “Why didn’t you come out? When we were walking through the cemetery, you followed us…why didn’t you come to us?”

“Had a visitor.” Spike replied with a frown and she looked worried. “The First tried to get me to fight on its side, offered me something in exchange for my help and I think I mightily pissed it off by refusing.”

“What did it offer you?” Angel asked from the doorway.

Spike pursed his lips and raised his brows as he looked over at the other vampire. “Oh…nothing much…just you as a big pile of dust.”

Buffy’s eyes widened and she looked from Spike to Angel in time to see Angel frown, a nervous look in his eyes.

Spike held his gaze. “Tempting as it was, didn’t want to give it what it wanted. Figured that if it does away with you, then it blows this prophecy wide open and it’s all crashing down on my noggin. Thank you very much, I don’t think so.”

He moved his eyes from Angel to Buffy and found her looking impressed, if a little tired.

“Now, let’s get you some rest, love. Got me a feeling that Giles and the other little prat will be wanting to do the prophecy talk tomorrow, wouldn’t want you falling asleep during it.” Spike kissed her cheek again and smiled as she slipped off his lap.

Angel watched them as they walked past him, Buffy leading Spike along the hall and then up the stairs. He heaved a sigh and looked back into the room at Joyce as she moved over to the kettle and put it on again, before sitting down.

Sitting down opposite her in the same stool Spike had occupied, he rested he head on his upturned palm and sighed.

Joyce just looked at him.

Time for vampire therapy session number two.

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