Love In Vein: Book Three - Chapter 5

Buffy stood nervously outside the iron cell door, clenching and unclenching her fists as she watched the little girl removing the barrier between her and Spike’s feelings. She tensed as the girl moved away and steeled herself against the onslaught of Spike’s emotions.

Maybe Giles was right, maybe she couldn’t deal with the constant pain and suffering that Spike was feeling.

No.

She could deal, if only so she could be there for her mate and let him know that she was near.

Taking a deep breath, she took a step towards the cell.

“Wait.” Giles saw her halt. “We have to lock the door behind you, but here.”

She frowned as he held something out to her. Extending her palm, she watched as a silvery metal key dropped into her hand. She stared at it and then smiled at the show of confidence and trust that Giles had given her.

“Thanks.” She turned her smile on him and then stepped into the room, trying to ignore the chill that swept up her spine when she heard the door close behind her.

The light in the ceiling buzzed and flickered into life.

Her gaze immediately moved to rest on Spike and she felt pity deep inside her when she saw that his fingertips were covered with fresh blood. Carrying the little box that Giles had had prepared for her visit, she moved across the room and knelt down in front of Spike, placing the medical kit down beside her.

He growled.

She arched a brow and gave him a look that said she wasn’t going to stand any of that.

Extending her hand to him, she ran her fingertips shakily over his ridged brow, trying to soothe him and coax out his more human side at the same time. She stilled her movements as he sniffed at her arm and repeatedly told herself that he wasn’t going to bite her again—he was just trying to recognise her.

Taking a deep breath, she moved closer to him still, close enough that her knees were almost touching him. She licked her lips as her mouth went dry, her nerves elevating as his amber eyes moved to meet hers.

Removing her hand from his face, she pulled down the neck of her sweater as she leaned towards him and revealed the marks he’d placed on her. She closed her eyes, flinching the tiniest amount as he dipped his head and sniffed at her skin, at the marks on her throat.

A few seconds of palpable silence filled the room and Buffy struggled to hold her nerve.

Then he purred.

It was the sweetest sound that she had ever heard and it made her want to cry as sweeps of tingles ran over her body.

“I love you.” She whispered into the shell of his ear and let her cheek come to rest against his as he nuzzled her neck. “I knew you’d come back.”

Watching from the door, Giles felt a sense of relief when Spike showed clear signs of recognising Buffy, and told himself that he’d done the right thing in going against the rest of the Council by bringing her here. With Buffy tending to Spike, there was a greater chance that he would make a recovery. The connection they shared, and the love they had for each other, would soothe the vampire and hopefully they would then be able to get some answers. Turning away from the door, he headed back up to the library to continue his research into Cerberus.

Buffy listened to the footsteps retreating down the corridor and then drew away from Spike. She gently lowered her hand to his and let her fingers curl around it softly. Bringing the key down, she unlocked his manacle and when she raised her eyes back up, she found blue ones watching her.

“Hey…Giles said that you try to hurt yourself, but you’re quieter at night…don’t prove him wrong, okay?” She didn’t know whether he could hear her, but she was glad when he made no move to injure himself.

He just watched her intently, following her every move as she began to clean up the tips of his fingers.

Buffy focused on her work, washing off the dried and fresh blood with damp cotton wool. She kept her eyes on his hand the whole time.

“It’s been…well…it would have been one hundred and forty-eight days since you disappeared into the portal…but today doesn’t count. So, it’s one hundred and forty-seven days since I’ve seen you.” She finished cleaning the cuts on his hand and then raised her eyes to meet his. “I missed you.”

Spike purred slightly.

“Missed me too, huh?” She smiled and gently cupped his cheek, her tone turning distant as she searched his face, counting all the cuts and bruises on it. “Where have you been? What happened to you?”

Spike turned his head away from her and, for a moment, she thought he was going to speak. Instead, he just raised his hand up and frowned at it.

Buffy looked at his hand too, shrugging an apology when she saw how ridiculous all the little bandages she’d wrapped around his fingers looked.

“I just don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

He slipped into game face and her eyes widened as his claws extended, tearing straight through the bandages and poking out the tiniest amount.

“Oh…well…better than nothing right? This is really mom’s specialty you know, she’s the one who fixed you up last time.” Buffy took hold of his hand again and began cleaning his wrist, watching as his claws disappeared.

“Mom misses you too. I even think Xander misses you. Anya keeps talking about wanting to get married. I think she’s going to give Xander a heart attack if she keeps it up.” She idly stroked his wrist with a fresh piece of damp cotton wool and carried on talking, fearing that if she stopped then the tears she was barely holding back would break free. “Willow is over here of course…don’t know if she knows that you’re here, but I’ll tell her…I’ll tell them all. She brought Tara over with her to study with the Coven. Fred and Wesley, they deserve an apology from me, I sort of blamed them for your disappearance. They didn’t hang around long. After you were gone I broke down…I was still broken until today…they didn’t stay long…Angel…”

Spike’s head shot up and he growled threateningly at her.

Buffy almost giggled.

“Still can’t stand to hear that name…where are you, Spike? Feels like you’re not even with me…like you don’t see me.” She started slightly as his eyes moved swiftly to meet hers. “Okay, maybe you do see me…but you didn’t earlier.”

Buffy swallowed noisily and held onto Spike’s hand as she leaned towards him again, keeping her eyes open the whole time, right up until the point her lips touched his. She felt the smallest of responses from him and sighed as she pulled back, the tears in her eyes ready to fall with the slightest of movements.

She watched his hand as he raised it slowly, shakily, bringing it to her face and hovering it just a few millimetres off her skin. There was a look in his eyes that made her feel as though he was scared to touch her and she wondered why.

Buffy frowned curiously.

Spike gasped quietly at air and she realised for the first time that he hadn’t been keeping up the pretence of breathing.

She was still pondering this when his lips parted.

He whispered.

“Don’t fade away.”

Buffy started, shocked into silence by the combination of hearing him speak at last and trying to figure out what he meant by that statement.

“I don’t understand…don’t fade away?” She watched the light as it seemed to fade from his eyes and she realised that he wasn’t going to answer her. A chill swept through her, carrying all her fears about her vision back to her and she found herself wondering again just how Giles knew she had been having one.

She clutched hold of his hand, trying to get him to press it against his cheek but he resisted her, his strength superior to hers in her weakened state.

“Why won’t you touch me? Why?” She felt almost hysterical as he withdrew his hand, casting her an angry look as he curled up in the corner like a small child that had been told off. She relented instantly, trying to calm herself enough to speak to him without frightening him. “Please, Spike…”

When he didn’t answer her, she let the tears fall down her cheeks, not caring if he saw them or if anyone noticed that she’d been crying when she left the room.

It was all too much to bear.

First Spike disappears and leaves her alone for nearly five months, and then when he comes back to her he refuses to touch her, to look at her, and she can’t tell what’s wrong with him. She knew that if she could get through to him that maybe he could get better, she could make him better.

Closing her eyes, she reached out to him.

“Spike?” She said it straight into his head and waited patiently for a response.

None came.

“Spike…answer me…you must be able to hear me.”

Still no response.

She sighed.

“You’ll talk to me when you’re ready…like you did just then, won’t you?” Buffy smiled as he uncurled and looked at her.

Her heart warmed a little.

“Let’s finish what we started then.” She took out the little key and set about cleaning his other hand.


Giles peered in through the cell window a few hours later. He’d been worried about how long Buffy had spent with Spike, and with his research over for the night, he’d come to see if she was making any progress.

He sighed as he saw her.

She was in the corner with Spike, her head resting peacefully against his chest and her arms wrapped tightly around him. He could see that they were both sound asleep and he wondered if by being near someone she drew so much comfort from Buffy was free of her visions.

Opening the door, he walked as quietly as possible into the cell and looked down at the vampire and the Slayer where they lay sleeping. He smiled and shook his head slightly when he saw that Buffy had padded Spike’s manacles with a thick layer of cotton wool held on with duct tape.

Crouching down, Giles nudged Buffy slightly and she raised her head, opening bleary eyes a fraction in order to look at him.

“Mmm?” She rubbed her hair and frowned as she tried to take in her surroundings, slightly taken aback to find herself in a dingy stone room.

She’d been dreaming that they were lying in her bed at home, sunlight was streaming softly in through the window and she was watching the dust motes catching the beam of light.

“Giles?” She croaked and sat up slowly, a smile curving her lips as she looked back at Spike.

“It’s late…you should go to bed. I know you’d like to stay with him, but it’s probably not wise. For starters, cold damp stone isn’t the best thing to be laying on for long periods.”

Buffy felt like mentioning that it was apparently good enough for Spike in the Council’s opinion. Instead, she just nodded weakly and stood with his assistance.

She pressed a soft kiss to Spike’s forehead and ran her fingers through his hair.

“Need to get you some bleach.” She mused as she looked at his roots.

Giles just smiled at how she was focusing on the small things. A little at a time was probably better than trying to fix everything about Spike at once.

Following Giles out of the cell, she trudged wearily up the corridor behind him, listening to the doors closing as they passed through them.

“Did you get on well?” Giles asked conversationally.

“Could say that…cleaned his hands up but I think the bandages will need replacing each day though. It’s probably a good thing, it will allow me to spend some time in contact with him and show him that I’m…” She stopped dead and looked at Giles. “Giles, what’s wrong with him? Where the hell has he been?”

Giles turned around and placed his hand reassuringly on her shoulder. Buffy flinched slightly from the squirming feeling it gave her in her stomach but she didn’t recoil from his touch.

“We don’t know. The sooner we get him better, the quicker we’ll know.”

She visibly sagged.

Buffy stared at the floor for a moment before raising her head back up. “He said something to me.”

Giles felt a little stunned. Spike hadn’t spoken in almost three weeks. Well, he hadn’t spoken directly to anyone but he was constantly muttering things to himself.

“And?” He asked as he began to walk along the corridor with her, suddenly not feeling very tired even though it was gone three in the morning.

“He looked like he wanted to touch me…but he looked scared to. He brought his fingers up to my cheek, but wouldn’t go through with it. And then he looked me straight in the eye and spoke to me.”

“What did he say?” Giles hoped it was going to be a clue, something he could use to aid his research.

Buffy stared blankly ahead. “Don’t fade away.”

“Don’t fade away?”

“Yep…and then he was gone again. I tried to contact him telepathically but he’s either not hearing me or he’s just not responding.” She stopped again. “Giles, I’m tired and I’m scared of what all this means…first the vision and now Spike’s crazy and telling me not to fade away? Giles, I faded away…piece by piece in that vision.”

He stood still for a moment and then looked away from her.

Buffy got the feeling there was more happening around here than she was being told.

“Giles?” She moved around him and looked him straight in the eye. “How did you know I was having visions?”

He hesitated for a moment, clearly trying to think of a suitable answer to her question and then sighed.

“Spike.” He uttered the word so quietly that Buffy barely heard him.

“What?”

“I think we should discuss this somewhere more comfortable, don’t you?” He kept his gaze locked with hers for a few seconds and then felt relieved when she started moving again, leading the way along the corridor and back towards the main building.

He knew that she’d ask.

He just hadn’t expected it to be this quickly.

Review This Story/Chapter!

It only takes a minute to send me feedback, but it makes my whole day. Simply fill in the form below: