She's My Sunshine

I watch her as she glides onto the dance floor with her friends, full of grace and beauty as she smiles at them, they don't know the power she exudes, the strength I see in her. It pulled me in from the moment I laid eyes on her, a night so similar to this one but so distant now, like a faded memory. She captured me the second our eyes met and I was falling for her ever since, I was just too blind to see it, too proud to admit there was a reason I kept coming back. Not a glutton for punishment or the lure of the hellmouth, but love, deep, burning, painful love of the girl in front of me.

She smiles at me across the crowd as I linger near the stairs, she's turning in slow motion, her eyes sparkling under the lights of the Bronze and her hair shimmering as it rests softly around her shoulders.

I've seen that smile a lot recently, always directed at me and each time she lets it out to play it increases in intensity. Sometimes it's so warm and beautiful that I have to wonder what she's thinking.

I can feel her heart accelerate as I smile back at her, my smile broadening as I notice her cheeks colouring almost imperceptibly.

I'm reminded of angels as she blinks languidly, there's a sweetness in her face that makes me want to protect her even though I know she's as powerful as me.

She moves towards me with the swan like grace that belies her underlying strength, to the people here she's just a pretty girl weaving through the crowds gathered on this warm night but to me she's a beautiful woman, echoing the heroines of novels and goddesses of mythology as she keeps her power locked deep inside, away from misunderstanding eyes.

I inhale her scent as she passes me by and settles with her friends so close to me and yet so distant, too distant. I turn and look at her, absorbing how the soft light plays on her skin and brightens her radiance--she's the epitome of effulgence. Her friends leave towards the bar, she looks unsure for a moment and then stands, and I swear that if I had a heart it would be pounding so hard it would break free from my chest. It's like this every time, whenever she seeks my company above her friends I can't stop feeling touched, honoured by her presence and awed by her warmth.

I watch her intently, my eyes narrowing and head tilting in manner she now recognises as tenderness, as love. She halts in front of me, her body deliciously close to mine, so close our toes are almost touching--it's times like these I live for. She heaves a long sigh and I read her conflicting emotions in her eyes, her nerves about coming to me in full view of her friends even though we've done this so many times before. The lights in the Bronze dim further, leaving only the dance floor and the bar lit. It only takes a split second for my eyes to adjust to the darkness but it gets me thinking, about night, the demon in me, and the girl in front of me.

I used to take pleasure in being a creature of darkness, enjoying the serenity and mystery of the night, inflicting suffering upon the humans that were so below me but something about her humbles me, proud as I was I now feel like I'm nothing without her. I crave our quiet moments, exchanging touches and smiles in our own little world.

It's when she smiles at me I realise how different I've become.

When I became a vampire I gave no thought to what I was giving up, it never crossed my mind that I would no longer be able to watch the sunset and sunrise without endangering my very life. Part of me missed it at first, losing the ability to watch the day pass me by under clear blue skies, missing the way the sunshine made me feel alive, made me feel better and warmed me through, right down to my soul. A century of undead life washed it from my memory, I was content with the night and the cold, until I first saw her and it all came flooding back.

To look at her when she smiles is like looking at the sun.

As her hand brushes against mine in a touch that feels electric, my eyes move to her lips and I watch them as they curve slowly into an affectionate smile. I dip my head to capture her sweet mouth like I've done so many times before and as I breathe in deep, savouring her scent, I wonder if she'll ever know just what she is to me.

She's my sunshine.

~*~ End ~*~

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