Soul Purpose - Chapter 9

He watched as the demon slowly emerged from the darkness behind Buffy and then swallowed noisily as his chest began to feel as though it was burning, his body heating through. He clutched his chest as he fell forward onto the sandy floor, holding himself and burning with white-hot pain.

Buffy went to move toward him but her senses pricked and instead she turned to face what was on her radar. She let her eyes widen in fear as she saw the tall robed demon behind her, its eyes glowing in the darkness.

Instinct telling her to run, she managed to take only two steps before she realised her hand was being held in a grip too strong for even her to break free of. She struggled against the demon as it tugged her back to it, her vampire visage breaking to the surface as she growled.

As the demon pressed his hand against her chest, Buffy screamed out in agony. She dropped to her knees as the burning consumed her, the memories of her previous life flooding back into her mind in front of her eyes as she stared blankly at the demon. She could feel the whole world fading back into colour, her feelings flooding back and she wondered for a second if this was what Spike had felt.

There was a spark of pain inside her as she felt her soul reinstated.

But the demon still held her.

Her body ached as his hand pressed harder against her chest and she watched it as it closed its eyes and muttered something beneath its breath. Warmth seeped through her, sedating her every nerve and washing away all the pain.

She felt like she was going to die.

Her eyes slipped closed and then shot open again as she screamed out in pain, the stabbing in her chest almost overwhelming her. She clenched her hands up into fists and struggled against the demon as the vampire inside her receded.

It felt like it was disappearing.

Her back arched as the pain in her chest increased and then she cried out as she felt her heart hammering back into action.

She could feel her old senses kicking back in, the vampire abilities she had gained leaving her and her Slayer ones coming back.

Standing quickly, she kicked the demon backwards into the wall. Clutching her chest, she stumbled away from it and toward Spike. She dropped to her knees beside him as he lay curled up in a foetal position on the floor, his eyes firmly shut and his breathing erratic.

Buffy shot a black look at the large demon as he moved out of the shadows and watched them. Lowering her eyes to Spike again, she reached a hand out and placed it gently on his arm.

She shook him lightly, hoping to rouse him and show him what had happened to her. She couldn’t get her head around why she was suddenly back but she wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth this time--not like last time.

“Spike?” She shook him again and then snatched her hand away as something dawned on her.

He was warm.

He had body temperature.

Spike rolled over slightly onto his front and coughed up blood, letting it trail from his mouth as he lay on the floor, too tired to move or think.

His head span with the sensation of his heartbeat and the rush of his blood. His stomach growled and his mouth felt as parched as the desert surrounding them. Screwing his face up, he clutched at his stomach and tried to hold down the contents of it.

Buffy pressed her fingers to the side of his neck and gasped as she felt his pulse coming quickly. She looked from Spike to the demon.

“How?” She didn’t know if he’d know everything she was asking with that one single word, but she hoped he did. She wanted to know how she was suddenly human again, how Spike was suddenly human and how he was able to give that to them.

The demon didn’t answer, he just dropped his eyes to rest on Spike where he remained curled up on the floor.

Spike coughed again, he felt weak with starvation and it took a moment to remember that he had to breathe.

Buffy stroked his cheek lightly, her brows furrowing as she watched him trying to adjust to what had happened.

“Slow and steady, baby.” She murmured and wondered how hard it was for him to deal with what was going on in his body--she had found it hard enough to re-adjust after only a short time of being dead, he had a century of deadness that had made him forget everything being alive meant.

Before, he’d pretended to breathe.

Now he had to.

Spike absorbed her words and her soothing touch and his head reeled at everything that had happened, none of it being what he’d expected.

“How?” He murmured as he felt the strength returning to his body and he managed to raise his eyes to meet Buffy’s.

“I don’t know. I asked, but he won’t tell me.” She stroked his hair lightly and gave him a reassuring smile. Tears began to fill her eyes as she thought about everything she’d been through in the past two days and everything Spike had done for her. She couldn’t imagine what it must have felt like for him to watch her die and to be the instrument of her death. She couldn’t imagine what he must have offered the demon in order to bring her back to life. “What did you do?”

Spike swallowed noisily and then blinked slowly as he looked at her. “I don’t know…I traded everything to get your soul, he told me…”

The demon stepped forward and regarded them both. “You had to stand the demon trials and surrender your immortality to receive what you wanted.”

Buffy felt her stomach flip as she thought about what Spike had offered in return for her soul. She had wanted to stand the trials herself, but he’d done it for her and he’d been willing to pay the ultimate price in order to ensure that she was as human as she could be.

“I only wanted you to be okay.” Spike looked pale as he thought about what he’d done to her and saw the marks on her neck that would always be a reminder of it. “I wanted to get you your soul, love.”

“But I’m alive.” Buffy looked confused. “You’re alive.”

Spike tried to crane his neck to look at the demon, but his body protested to his desire to move and he remained watching Buffy instead.

He managed a smile as he realised part of what had happened.

“I think I wanted more, I know I wanted more…but I didn’t believe it was possible. I told the demon he knew what I wanted, and he in turn took my deepest desire and gave me the price of it.”

Buffy stared at her knees as she tried to comprehend what Spike was telling her--he’d brought her back, not caring if it meant he’d be gone again. He was willing to die in order to save her this time.

“But your immortality…you should be…”

“Dead.” He finished her sentence for her and placed his hand flat against the dirt as he tried to sit up. He smiled as he felt Buffy’s strong little hands assisting him, helping him to come to rest on his knees like she was. “I thought I’d be dust. Without immortality I should be dead.”

“You were.” The demon answered and walked toward them. When he reached them, he looked up at the ceiling as though he was looking at the heavens. “But it seems your actions granted you a gift.”

“Shanshu?” Buffy looked stunned as it clicked.

Spike felt his whole world spin and the word Buffy had uttered swam in his head.

The demon nodded. “The goddess, Illyria, when coupled with the Slayer’s power would have brought the final apocalypse. You sacrificed the life of your love to save the world from this goddess, and then sacrificed your immortality to save your love. This, coupled with your previous actions on the Hellmouth, has granted you this gift.”

Spike didn’t know what to say, all he could do was stare at the demon as he tried to come to terms with what he was being told. He hadn’t acted to save the world, at least not knowingly. He had simply wanted to help Buffy and bring her back from whatever dark place she had gone to.

He’d wanted to save her.

He started slightly as he felt Buffy’s hand resting lightly on his and he looked down at it and then up at the demon again.

“But I’m not human.” He felt Buffy’s hand tense slightly against his and turned his head so his eyes met hers. “I’m not weak, not kitteny, I can feel strength in me…can sense things like I used to be able to.”

Buffy looked confused again. Her head was beginning to ache from all the twists and turns this day was taking and she just wanted everything explained very slowly to her now in as little words as possible, so she could understand it all.

She thought about what the demon had told them, about how the demon had reanimated her and her eyes widened.

“Blood.” She whispered as she stared blankly at the far wall.

The demon smiled in his own little way. “Blood, indeed.”

“Blood?” It was Spike’s turn to look confused.

Buffy squeezed his hand. “I can feel things, I have my Slayer senses back but some of them have remained as heightened as they were when I was a…you know.”

“Vampire? So…I don’t get…oh.” Spike’s brows rose as he looked at her and then at her neck. His eyes widened. “Oh!”

The demon nodded again as Spike looked at him.

“You were reanimated. To be granted life is to be reanimated back to your human state, like he did to me. Your body didn’t have time to completely absorb all my blood into your system and integrate it into yours…part of you, is me.”

“And vice versa.” He said quietly as he slowly came to terms with what had happened.

He’d been granted Shanshu by the powers that be for his actions both here and previously on the Hellmouth. By reanimating him before he’d had the chance to digest and absorb all of Buffy’s blood, they’d granted him more than just life--they’d given him a fraction of her powers. It wasn’t a lot, but it was enough to make him more than human.

He smiled.

This was turning out to be one crazy day.

“I’m human.” He said simply.

Buffy smiled as she watched him coming to terms with it. “Yep.”

“I’m human. I’m bloody human!”

She was starting to wonder whether he was opposed to the idea of being human--he didn’t seem to be taking it very well. She was about to say something when he looked at her with wide eyes that twinkled with mischief.

“I’m sodding human…the implications…aging, real birthdays, breathing, kissing, body heat…food…daylight!” Spike grinned and narrowed his eyes on Buffy. “Babies…”

She held her hands up, genuinely taken aback by how rapidly Spike was settling into being human again. “Whoa there mister, one step at a time. Let’s start with thanking the nice demon…”

Buffy looked up to see the demon gone.

Spike looked around the room and arched a brow at her. “It’s all your yammering, love. Scared him away.”

“More like your talk of babies.” She retorted and then smiled as she realised things were back to normal, in a way.

Spike closed his eyes and smiled as he found his arms full of Buffy. She was squeezing him tightly and he felt relieved that it didn’t feel any different from before, she still couldn’t break him--he was still the perfect match for her.

Releasing him from her arms, Buffy realised it was going to take a little time to get used to him having body heat, but she didn’t care. He was back, she was back, life was great.

She screwed her face up as she realised what she’d made Spike do.

“Guess we better go explain what we did. I’m pretty sure Angel will be throwing a fit about the jet being missing.” Buffy gave Spike a sheepish look but he was still smiling wide.

Standing slowly, she offered her hand to him and held it tightly when he stood with a wobble and a smile.

“Feel weird?” She asked as he frowned down at his body.

“Yep. Did you, do you remember it? Being a vampire for a few minutes?” Spike held her hand, letting his fingers interlock with hers.

Buffy dropped her eyes to rest on the floor and sighed. “Yes.”

She let go of his hand for a moment and when she looked up, she saw the hurt in his eyes over her breaking away from him. She smiled as she took his arm and put it around his shoulders, letting him rest his weight on her as he stood on wobbly legs.

Spike smiled again as he felt her hand holding his tightly, her small frame offering all the support he needed.

As they began to walk, she realised she should have said more than just ‘yes’ to his question.

“It was…I felt empty, like a part of me was missing…and I needed you so badly. I didn’t know what to do.”

Spike stopped dead and looked at her. He frowned for a moment before dipping his head and pressing a long, slow kiss to her lips.

Buffy smiled against his mouth, amused at how weird it felt to be feeling such a familiar kiss that was so unfamiliar at the same time--it really was going to take a while to get used to him having body heat.

As he pulled back, Spike let his gaze drop to her neck and the bite marks that adorned it. He smiled as it felt as though he was seeing what he used to be. He had changed himself so many times now, once a human, then a vampire, then chipped and winning a soul and now a human once more.

And most of that for the girl standing in front of him.

“You were the last thing I tasted.” He smiled into her eyes as she blinked. “The last person I drank, the last I turned…the last…I’m human…I’m human.”

Buffy smiled as he kept repeating it to himself as though he was trying to force it to soak in. Walking with him the rest of the way to the cave entrance, she thought about what life had in store for them now.

Again, everything was so different, there was a completely new set of rules of play by and both of them had had their calling changed. He was no longer a vampire, she was no longer the only Slayer.

“I’m human.” Spike said with conviction.

“Let’s test that thought.” She led him out of the caves and into the light of the setting sun.

Spike instinctively flinched away from it and covered his eyes as the light hurt them--the intensity of it was dazzling.

“You okay?” Buffy asked cautiously and watched him as he lowered the hand that was protecting his eyes.

Giving himself a moment to adjust to the fact he was standing in broad daylight with the sound of his heartbeat filling his ears, Spike nodded slowly and just watched the sun as it slowly began to sink behind the dusty horizon.

His eyes widened and his lips parted as something dawned on him.

“Bloody hell…I’m William!”

Buffy laughed aloud at the mortified look on his face and then let his arm slip from her shoulders. Putting her hand into his, she held it tightly to show him that it didn’t matter who he was--she still loved him.

“Come on, William, we better go find that jet.” She let him lead the way as they started to walk again.

Spike was silent for a few minutes before glancing over at Buffy. His mind was working a million miles a second to grasp everything he was thinking and he couldn’t help saying it all out loud.

“I could tan.” He said as Buffy met his eyes and saw her roll them as she flashed him a beautifully wide smile. “We could go to the beach, swim together…if you teach me how to swim that is…and we can fly around the world…with Dawn…and I still get to fight demons…”

“One step at a time.” Buffy shot him a look that said he was getting ahead of himself. He had a long way to go before she was going to let him come on patrol with her, she needed to test his abilities first and he was going to need time to get used to not having his vampire reflexes and being mortal.

Spike looked disappointed.

“We’ll have to train you first. Next, we find the jet and some food, because I’m starved and your stomach hasn’t stopped growling. Then we seriously have to think about how to explain all this to Angel.” Buffy noticed the mischievous look on Spike’s face and frowned at him questioningly.

“Angel’s gonna be pissed!” Spike grinned. “Shanshu, baby.”

Buffy’s face fell.

This was going to be harder to explain than she’d thought.

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