Passion

Passion. It lies in all of us, sleeping, waiting. And though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us, guides us, passion rules us all and we obey. What other choice do we have?

Buffy shouldered the door open, dragging Giles out into the clear night air and leaving the blistering heat of the inferno behind them. She breathed deeply, trying to clean her lungs out and give herself time to compute everything that had just happened. She’d almost beaten him, had let her hatred of Angelus drive her on until she’d been winning without a thought to the price she would have paid. It was only when he’d mentioned her letting Giles burn that she’d snapped out of it, her feelings muddling inside her until she was conflicted once more.

She felt herself thrown away from Giles.

“Why did you come here? This wasn’t your fight!” Giles growled at her angrily and she couldn’t help wanting to retort.

This was her fight--it was always her fight.

Angelus had killed someone and the second he crossed over that line it made it her fight and hers alone, not because of vengeance for Jenny but because it was her destiny, she was the chosen one.

She let her tears well up as she thought about it, this was her life, destined to fight battles that she didn’t want to and protect the lives of her friends from the danger her existence bought to theirs.

Destined to be alone.

As Giles advanced on her she did the only thing she could think of, pulling her arm back she hit him square across the jaw and watched him fall to the floor as her tears fell down onto her cheeks.

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

Looking down at him as he struggled to regain his senses she gave in to her emotions, her thoughts about losing Giles haunting her, there was already too much death in her life. Breaking down, she knelt beside him and held him to her as she cradled him in her arms, her tears flowing freely down her cheeks as she gave in to all the hurt life had thrown at her recently.

“You can’t leave me! I can’t do this alone.” Buffy sobbed into his back as he cried against her shoulder.


Buffy looked up at Giles and then down at the grave, her eyes slowly filling with tears as she struggled with her feelings. Raising her eyes to Giles’ face again, she said the only thing she could say, to alleviate her guilt and pain, and comfort him.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t kill him for you, for her, when I had the chance.”


I wasn’t ready. But I think I finally am. I can’t hold onto the past anymore.

Smoothing down her skirt and heaving a sigh, Buffy looked down at the grave in front of her, it seemed so much more painful at night, alone in the darkness with no one to comfort her. Another one dead--another casualty of her lack of strength, and why? Because she couldn’t bring herself to kill the monster she once loved, she’d let him live and now he was making her pay for her wrong decisions and weakness.

Turning away from Jenny’s grave, she wandered through the headstones, her eyes moving over them but not really seeing them. She was lost in her thoughts as she walked, her feet guiding her, leading her body where they wanted to go. The sun had set almost an hour ago but the day was refusing to fade away, the sky a clear but deeper shade of blue and the brightest of stars glowing faintly overhead.

She heaved a long sigh as she tried to expel all the feelings inside her, her heart weighed down under regret and remorse as her mind ran over all the things she had done wrong. Knowing now she was now strong enough to kill Angel didn’t alleviate the pain of everything that had happened, her mother discovering what her daughter had done, Jenny being murdered by her ex lover and Giles going out for revenge.

As she closed her eyes, she felt a blip on her radar, a faint signature or possibly two faint signatures. She continued to walk in the direction she’d been heading, across a long stretch of untouched grass like a clearing in amongst the gravestones. As the prickly heat in her stomach grew stronger, she rolled forwards and spun to face her opponent, her heart hammering out a sickening rhythm against her chest and her Slayer side kicking in.

Her chest heaved as she looked at him and he looked back at her, the heavy atmosphere between them as palpable as it had always been.

“Spike.” Buffy breathed and raised her eyes to heaven, ignoring the unbidden feelings he inspired in her each time they met. “What do you want? No, wait…I really don’t care.”

She was going to turn to leave as he spoke, his dulcet tones laced with hurt and anger. It struck a chord deep inside her.

“I want Angelus dead, I want to trample his dust into the earth where it bloody belongs…I want everything you want, love.” Spike set his jaw tight as she looked down at him, he knew she wasn’t out for the hunt because she carried no weapon, it was clear to him she had been out thinking about everything that had been happening recently, out clearing her head just as he had been.

Buffy frowned and quickly scanned the cemetery, trying to see if she could find Angelus and Drusilla.

“I really don’t have the patience for your games, did Angel make you do this?” She heaved a sigh and let her shoulders sag. “I don’t care…it’s been a rough week and…”

She stopped as Spike curled his tongue up against his teeth and let his lips widen into a wicked grin.

“It’s about to get a lot rougher…” He smirked.

Buffy panicked, her senses kicking into overdrive as she looked around, trying to figure out how it was going to get a lot rougher. She let her eyes widen as she looked back at Spike and saw his feet move, his heavy boots kicking the footrests aside as he moved to stand. As he rose before her she felt her heart smash harder against her chest, the feeling in her stomach spiralling and making her feel sick with nerves.

“You’re…” Buffy instinctively moved into a combat stance, cursing herself for not bringing anything wooden and pointy with her.

“Back?” Spike chuckled at the pun and rolled his shoulders to loosen them. “And starving for a spot of violence.”

Before she could react, Buffy found herself knocked to the floor and saw Spike land a punch on a vampire that had appeared from nowhere. She felt stunned as she watched Spike fighting the vampire and tried to figure out where he had come from, she must have been so focused on Spike that she hadn’t felt him approaching her.

Buffy flinched as Spike snapped the vampires arm and stamped on his leg, breaking the bone in his calf cleanly and making him kneel before him. With a wide smirk, Spike twisted the vampires head clean off and watched the dust fall to the ground. Dusting his hands off, he took a step towards Buffy and offered her his hand.

“One of Angels boys…” He nodded towards the pile of dust and then looked back down at her, waiting for her to take hold of his hand.

She stared at it, her breathing fast and shallow as the atmosphere between them intensified until she felt like she couldn’t move. She couldn’t understand what had possessed him to fight his own kind, couldn’t grasp why he was now offering her his hand and seemingly didn’t want to kill her. Spike frowned briefly and took hold of her hand, pulling her to her feet and holding onto her as she stumbled forwards.

Looking into her eyes, he could see her mixed emotions fleeting across them but her tiredness overshadowed them, on the outside she appeared perfectly normal but on the inside she looked so drained of life.

He frowned and felt lost, trapped by the luscious green of her eyes and the way she was trembling in his arms. That’s when it hit him that he had no desire to fight her, not one part of him wanted her dead and it caused his stomach to squirm with the feelings that settled there. He wanted to help her; he laughed internally at himself and justified it by telling himself that by helping her, he could help himself.

Buffy looked at her hands where they rested against his chest, her heart skipping a beat as she felt his cool hard muscles twitching under her fingers as she pressed them into his pectorals.

“I want to help…” Spike started but found himself cut off as she smashed her lips against his hard, her fingers grasping him to her as they encircled his neck.

He lost the ability to think as she leant into him, her warm lips crushing his and he found himself automatically responding to her touch, his unbridled passion for her welling up now that she had made the first move to act on the desire that was always apparent between them.

Buffy pulled back and let her eyes widen as her hand flew to cover her mouth.

“Oh god…I’m sorry…” She caught the surprised look on his face, his mouth still forming the shape of a kiss. “…Just there’s always this…between us…and you looked so, like you felt the same…and maybe my head isn’t on straight right now…it’s like an undercurrent…pulling…zinging between us…you must think I’m cra--mmmmph.”

Buffy melted into his arms as he kissed away the last part of her sentence, his fierce kisses showing her that he felt the same way and encouraging her to surrender to the attraction they both felt.

She limply wrapped her arms around his neck and leant backwards, her body pressing hard against his and her eyes closing as he kissed her into oblivion.

Spike tugged her closer as he felt her slipping, her soft body turning to jelly under his probing tongue and tight embrace. He could feel her heart smashing against his chest, resonating through him as he continued to claim her mouth for his own. Pulling back, he smiled briefly as he caught sight of her kiss swollen lips and then dipped his head to plant a trail of hungry wet kisses along her jaw and down her neck.

Buffy opened her eyes as her head tilted backwards, she stared blankly at the twinkling stars overhead and pondered how she felt like she was up there in heaven with them. Her body flushed with a prickly heat as his fingers grasped her waist tightly, his arms snaking around her and ensuring she couldn’t break free from him. It thrilled her to think she couldn’t escape him, from the night they met she hadn’t been able to escape him and now that he had her held tight in his strong arms, she didn’t want to leave.

Breathing in the delicious scent of her neck, Spike licked it roughly and savoured the sensation of her heartbeat against his tongue and the taste of her sweet perfumed skin.

“Spike…” She fell limp in his arms, letting him bend her to his will as he raised her up and wrapped her legs about his waist. Bringing her eyes down to earth again she realised they were standing in the middle of the cemetery. “…Little more private…”

Spike arched a brow at her whispered command and nodded, carrying her towards the rows of crypts and mausoleums nearby. Finding a secluded wooded patch in between two of the mausoleums, he pressed her hard against the cool stone wall.

“Mmm…” Buffy rolled her eyes closed and then weaved her fingers into the short hair on the back of his head, holding his mouth against her neck and surrendering to her feelings for him. They burnt in her veins like fire; passion and desire making her crave his lips and his body on hers, and wanting to see him feeling the same way she was.

He growled into her throat as she held him there, his feelings bubbling to the surface as he breathed in her sweet scent and absorbed the warmth emanating from her body. He knew this was it now, they had resisted each other from the moment they met because they knew if they acted upon the attraction they felt for each other that they would be lost, they would stumble and fall together and life as they knew it would be over.

Spike realised it had been over the second he’d laid eyes on her, she’d got under his skin, invading his thoughts and his dreams until he spent every moment thinking about her. He was powerless to resist his feelings for her as much as she was powerless to resist her feelings towards him, and now they had surrendered to passion there was no going back, there was only going forward together.

Buffy let out her breath in a sigh as she felt his teeth slice into her skin--it wasn’t what she’d been expecting him to do but the feeling it gave her made her body sing. Cradling him close to her and holding him tightly, she closed her eyes as she felt him pull on her blood, marking her neck as his and making the desire she felt for him grow.

As she surrendered to the passionate feelings that he inspired in her, Buffy clung to Spike as though her life depended on it, his body pressing hard against hers and his lips wrapped tightly around the wound on her neck.

Pulling him away from her neck, she kissed him hard, releasing everything she’d been holding inside and letting go of her restraints. Nothing mattered anymore, the world had dropped away the instant she’d kissed him and now there was only him, holding her, kissing her, loving her and all she wanted to do was love him in return.


Angelus lit a smoke and exhaled it as he wrapped his arms possessively around Drusilla’s waist. She whined as she watched her childe in the arms of the Slayer, part of her had known that this day would come, since arriving in Sunnydale she’d felt the pull they felt towards each other as keenly as they had. She looked up at Angelus and pouted. He smiled down at her and pressed a brief kiss to her neck before resting his cheek against hers and watching the release of emotions between the Slayer and the vampire. This new alliance was going to prove interesting to watch.


Passion. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we’d know some kind of peace, but we would be hollow: empty rooms, shuttered and dank.

Without passion, we’d be truly dead.

~*~ End ~*~

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